Garden Geek Chic

I bought myself a present.  

In did it in honor of my commitment to this blog and the public acknowledgement that I am as likely to bore you to tears with tales of greenery as a new mom is to cause eyes to glaze over with tales of poo.

Also, because I've been cheap for far too long.  It's odd, because back when I worked in the theatre (no, not as an actress -- I was a propmistress for a regional repertory company, making dead bodies, painting fake food, and building the occasional piece of scenery) I knew that one's work was only as good as the tools one used to produce it.  And woe to anyone who pinched my favorite sable paintbrush.

But in the garden, I've always bought the cheapest tools. I have an impressive collection of rusty, inoperable pruning shears.  Of course, they'd probably have made it through an entire season if I didn't routinely leave them outside in the rain, but still they were pretty shoddy tools.  The blades dulled so quickly I could hear the raspberry stalks squeal in pain as I got them ready for the season -- and I didn't entirely imagine the butterfly bush cringing as I approached.  At least I had the compassion to buy cheap bypass pruners, instead of the much crueler anvil variety, which squishes the defenseless limb until it separates.  

But with all the raking I've been doing these past couple of weeks, it finally occured to me that I should turn over a new leaf.  I pitched all the dead shears and decided I would treat gardening with the professionalism it deserves -- even though I'm still a rank amateur.  So I did my web homework and settled on the brand I've coveted for the last five years -- the brand that's located in an area in the serious garden supply stores that you can't enter unless you know the secret handshake.  Thank goodness for online shopping, since I don't know that handshake.  But no thanks to my incredible susceptibility to algorithmic upsell, because I bought not one, but two of these very expensive shears because of course people who bought one, bought the other, and who am I to let those pikers outdo me in the professionalism race?

And I also paid for expedited shipping.  Well, I tossed all my other shears; what if I had to prune something on an emergency basis and the new ones hadn't arrived yet?  What then?

They came the next day.  And they are beautiful!  Oh, I neglected to mention that I totally geeked out and also got a leather holster for one of them.  Excessive, you say?  Well, I usually just keep them in my back pocket, but if I put them both there, I'm likely to fall over backwards from the weight, so you might say a holster was a necessity.

So here I am, in full tool regalia.  Not sure this look will catch on, but it works for me!