Blooms and Legumes

The Insect Informer
Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2011

We're delighted to announce that we have made two terrific additions to our editorial field staff.  


As you know, we take great pride in the award winning team we've assembled here at the Insect Informer, and the accolades they've collected over the years is testimony to their expertise.  Last year alone, we collected a record number of BUGGies (Best Underground Green Guide awards) most notably for the heroic work Thomas Blendin did covering the carnage done to the Tomato Hornworm population by a sharp-eyed gardener and his sadistic wife in Waccabuc.  His photographs chronicled the deadly outcome of incomplete camouflage during field maneuvers.  Sadly, Mr. Blendin's award was delivered posthumously.  Although he was well hidden and indistinguishable from the stem of the Brandywine that was his vantage point, a momentary sunglare off the lens of his camera betrayed his location.  With one swift heartless gesture, he was plucked from his perch and unceremoniously squished.


But on to happier news.  Let us introduce the two new staffers.

Ms. Gina Aubrey

Please welcome Gina Aubrey.  She comes to us fresh from a stint at Cornell School of Agriculture where she did her graduate work, and is certified to be destructive to 37 varieties of eggplant in at least 6 languages.  She's already established herself in Waccabuc  and is sending daily dispatches from  several raised beds on Perch Bay Road.  She recently filed a report detailing the feeble attempt to divert insect attention by interplanting eggplant with cucumbers and tomatoes.  Her photography vividly illustrates this strategic failure.

Eggplant after Ms. Aubrey's visit 

We look forward to hearing more tales from Gina about outsmarting the owner of this garden in particular, since this is the scene of the tragic events that took Mr. Blendin's life last year. And we certainly hope she's on her guard at all times -- especially regarding the gardener's merciless wife.  Witnesses reported that Mr. Blendin's final words were faint, but ominous... "I heard her mention Rotenone..."

Mr. Lucas Henry

The other addition we've made is to augment our coverage of flowering bulbs.  Please welcome Lucas Henry.  He brings a unique look to our team (he's a rather flashy dresser) but don't let that fool you -- he's as industrious as he is stylish. He got to work immediately and has made a real impact. On the lillies most dramatically.  He made short work of the three stands of large lillies on the back of the mound at Perch Bay.  And then applied himself to the dwarf lillies in the front of the mound.  

Mr. Henry's handiwork

If you're detecting a bit of a vendetta against this garden and gardeners, you would be right.  And can you blame us?  Not only do we have the aforementioned Mr Blendin in mind, but there was also that episode with the carpet of caterpillars who were happily dining on Creeping Jenny when they were wiped out by a noxious spray of something not entirely organic last year.  So far, the aphids have withstood the classic "Marigold Maneuver,"  and the roses have been treated with that totally useless "green" fungicide we snuck onto the market so successfully.  But with the specter of Rotenone looming, we do declare that the proper approach to the Perch Bay Garden is "no mercy."


We look forward to hearing more from both Gina Aubrey and Lucas Henry in the months to come.

(Real editor's note:  See earlier post for background on the Insect Informer)